SURVIVING CHRISTMAS: Single mom guide to getting through the “Big Day”

SINGLEMOMMAGAZINE_SMALL( – Next to bringing the baby home from the hospital after childbirth, there is probably few other days that moms who celebrate Christmas look forward to than Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

But if you’re without your child for the holidays, it can be like living a nightmare wide awake only with flashing lights, decorated cookies and lots of other decorations. In a word: It’s HELL!

My child and I are victims of family court corruption. We’re also survivors of domestic violence and the entire custody process went to hell in a hand basket. We have court orders to be together but in the end court orders are just like hamburger wrappers: Made of paper and often disgarded and certainly rarely kept.

So here’s some tips on how you can survive Christmas without your child.

  1. Allow yourself to feel whatever the hell you feel: Don’t listen to those Debbie Downers who try to pretend they care how you feel by saying dumb shit like, “You’ll be okay” or “Try to make the best of it.” That’s just their warped way of saying, “Don’t ruin Christmas for me.” So if you feel like screaming. Scream. If you want to punch a pillow. Do it. If you want to put up a tree and enjoy some alone time. Fine, too. Even a day in bed with the covers over your head could be a good way to care for yourself on December 25 or December 31.
  2. Make new traditions. If there is a certain Christmas music that has been a family favorite, consider changing it. If you drive around on Christmas Eve looking at all the lights and decorations, instead stay home and bake sugar cookies, unless you want to do it. The idea is to shake things up, do something different. Any past seasonal behaviors that were once wonderful but now dredge up negative emotions can be done away with and replaced by new and exciting activities.
  3. Participate in some form of charity work or activity that means doing something for those less fortunate. You will be teaching your children a great lesson when you tell them how you spent your day.
  4. Send in a SPY: Have a releative on deck who will sneak photos and videos and bring your child a gift you sent them (if it comes to that) Be sure that your child is ok as well, if you’re able to talk with them. Some exes like rapper Ludacris are terrible to the children’s mother and all but cut off communication. It can feel like war because it is but only the child loses.

Need more ways to cope? Here’s an article that I found helpful.