CO-PARENTING: Alicia Keys still struggles but Swizz Beats makes it work

Swizz Beats likes to have ALL of his kids together(www.TheSingleMomClub.com) – While he was married to Mashonda, Swizz Beatz had an affair to remember. Actually, it was two affairs at once.

Alicia Keys thought she was the only mistress for the married music producer but was shocked to learn he was also involved with another musician in London.

Both women got pregnant and gave birth to his children. Jahna Sabastian has Swizz’s only daughter while Alicia has two sons with him and eventually married him. Alicia was actually “Baby Mama #4.”

Fast forward all these years and Alicia still struggles to cope, which is odd considering many believe she got as much as she gave.

“How you get him is how you lose him,” said one mother. “She’s going to live on the edge because she does  know what he’s capable of in terms of being a faithful lover.”

Alicia Keys struggles to accept Swizz Beatz's daughter by Jahna SabastianSwizz, whose real name is Kasseem Dean, is Muslim and as such “demands  peace in my house,” so there’s little that Alicia can do but enjoy the children that they have together and move on since she converted when they married.

Even her fans feel it’s very disrespectful to her husband, the child and the child’s mother to dote over the other children and treat the daughter like Cinderella. To make matter worse, Alicia released a photo of husband with their newest son with his other children but left out the daughter.

So, how does a dad like Swizz Beats or Lil Wayne – who both have five children with four women – manage to keep the peace? Here are some tips for coping with “side babies” and co-parenting when the other parent has more kids.

Swizz Beats baby mama Jahna Sabastian daughter co-parentingTIPS FOR COPING WITH “Side Babies” and Step Children

Alicia finally tried to come to terms with Swizz’s reality, even taking a photo and a vacation with his daughter and her mother and with Mashonda and her son but it didn’t really stick. While Mashonda has managed to accept and even welcome her son having siblings, Alicia seems to do so on the surface and suppress her true feelings.

“Alicia does things more to flaunt to the other baby mamas,” said a source. “She tries to make them feel like, “I’m tolerating you because I’m the queen, but don’t get it twisted I’m running things.” Alicia’s not genuine and it’s hard for the other children sometimes.

Here’s how you can cope if you’re in a similar situation:

Don’t:

  • Sabotage your child’s relationship with the other parent.
  • Use your child as a pawn to get back at or hurt your ex.
  • Use your child to gain information or to manipulate and influence your ex.
  • Transfer hurt feelings and frustrations toward your ex onto your child.
  • Force your child to choose a side when there’s a conflict in scheduling or another planning challenge.
  • Turn family events into pressure cookers.
  • Depend too much on your child for companionship and support because you’re hurt and lonely.
  • Treat your child like an adult because you’re lonely or just want help.
  • Become so emotionally needy that your child develops feelings of guilt if he or she spends time with others.
  • Convert guilt into overindulgence when it comes to satisfying your child’s material desires

Do:

  • Commit to learn, adopt and apply all the principles set forth in Family First.
  • Sit down with your ex and make an affirmative plan that sets aside any differences you may have and focuses instead on meeting the needs of your children.
  • Agree with your ex that you absolutely won’t disparage each other to your children. Further, forbid your children to speak disrespectfully about the other parent, even though it may be music to your ears.
  • Negotiate and agree on how you can best handle such things as handing off the children for visitation, holidays, or events.
  • Agree on boundaries and behavioral guidelines for raising your children so that there’s consistency in their lives, regardless of which parent they’re with at any given time.
  • Negotiate and agree on the role extended family members will play and the access they’ll be granted while your child is in each other’s charge.
  • Communicate actively with your ex about all aspects of your child’s development.
  • Recognize that children are prone to testing a situation and manipulating boundaries and guidelines, especially if there’s a chance to get something they may not ordinarily be able to obtain.
  • Compare notes with your ex before jumping to conclusions or condemning one another about what may have happened.
  • Although it may be emotionally painful, make sure that you and your ex keep each other informed about changes in your life circumstances so that the child is never, ever the primary source of information.
  • Commit to conducting yourself with emotional integrity.

Read the rest of the co-parenting tips here.

 

 

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