Whether they’re single moms by choice, divorce or heartbreaking loss, today’s single parent families are thriving like never before.
Child rearing is difficult even when two parents are present. Yet, single mothers and single fathers face the same tasks that married parents do (for example, making sure that children are clean, clothed, and fed; helping with homework; preparing children for school; earning enough money to pay bills; disciplining children; and comforting them when they are upset), but with fewer resources: not only is there no other adult to share in the time spent with children.
As much as the world wants single moms to feel bad, ashamed or cheated, many mothers love their single motherhood status and wouldn’t change it for anything. Every parent struggles with money, even the rich and famous, but just because a child is raised in a single parent household is simply no reason to count their parents out of the game. To prove our point, TheSingleMomClub.com is taking a look at some single moms who are doing great:
“From life insurance to prepaid college tuition,
I’m making sure she will be taken care of.”
Who: Yvette N. Harris
Occupation: Owner of a lifestyle public relations company
I am a single mom of a beautiful, amazing, spirited little girl named Nya (Nya means “purpose”). Nya is a huge part of my daily life. When she was born, I made a decision to make sure she would be a part of my life and not just included in it.
I own a lifestyle public relations company, so my daily schedule can be a bit hectic. She is currently in a home-school program that allows her to expand her mind in a more creative manner. I have Nya involved in everything from African dance, gymnastics, French heritage and science to a weekly dose of playdates every weekend. With that said, I am grateful for my single-mom community collective that comes together to help with car pool.
Working for yourself can be a bit challenging; I have changed my business model of who I do business with because I am the sole caretaker of my daughter’s needs. Finances are something that weigh on my mind. But I’m working all that out to make sure I will be able to afford all of the things I want to expose her to. From life insurance to prepaid college tuition, I am really looking at ways to make sure she will always be taken care of.
I sometimes have to take Nya with me to my meetings if the babysitter gets sick. I remember having to take her to a presentation for a grant for a client when she was about four months old. I breast-fed and she fell asleep in her carrier for the whole presentation. The funny thing is that everyone kept asking me questions about her and saying how adorable she was. I never really made it through my presentation, but my client got the grant.
My daughter is amazing and has such a go-with-the-flow spirit. When we go to Starbucks, she will ask, “Mommy, is this a meeting, or are we just here for chit-chat?” She knows how to govern her behavior accordingly.
I am always working to make sure I have some balance that includes quality time with her, quality time for myself, and working on my business and personal development. One of the things we like to do together is our vision board and our gratitude jar. It’s important that I teach her about hard work and that we can’t just go to the ATM machine without Mommy actually working to make the money to put in the bank. I have finally reached the point where I am limiting the work I do on the weekends. It’s a work in progress, but I am getting there. Now we make time for movies, trips to the farmers’ market, and riding our bike to the beach.
I think because I had my daughter at an older age (I was 41 when I gave birth), it allowed me to have maturity and really be present for her. I love being a mother and I savor every moment. It’s all about the balancing act, deciding you can do anything you set your mind to and having the community around you. It really does take a village.